Conflict Management: A Key Skill for Growth
By Harsh Mota
The Stepping Stone, January 2025
Let’s face it, workplace conflict is something most of us have experienced at some point. When you bring together people from diverse backgrounds with unique perspectives and work styles, differences of opinion are bound to arise. Unresolved conflicts cost American companies $359 billion each year, according to a 2019 article.[1]
How you handle these conflicts can make or break your work environment. Conflict doesn’t have to be negative—in fact, when approached thoughtfully, it can be a powerful tool for growth and collaboration.
This article will take you through strategies and tools to manage workplace conflict effectively, putting you in control of creating a more harmonious work setting.
Why Does Conflict Happen?
Think about the last time you disagreed with someone at work. Maybe it was about a project deadline, resource allocation, or even something as simple as communication preferences. Workplace conflicts generally stem from a few recurring factors:
- Different Goals or Priorities: Sometimes, two departments or team members are working toward objectives that clash, creating tension.
- Communication Styles: Misunderstandings can easily occur if one person prefers direct feedback while another values a softer approach.
- Work Habits: Some thrive in dynamic environments, others prefer steady, incremental progress; some need predictable routines, while others seek out evolving challenges.
- Personalities: Personality differences can lead to misinterpretations and, at times, unintended clashes.
Understanding these underlying causes can be a great first step. By identifying the root of a conflict, you can tailor your response to address the real issue rather than just dealing with surface-level symptoms.
Key Conflict Management Strategies
With that in mind, here are some approaches you can try in different conflict situations:
- Collaborative Problem-Solving
When you collaborate, you’re not just looking for a “quick fix.” Instead, the goal is to understand each side’s perspective and find a solution that satisfies both. Collaborative problem-solving is about working together to meet the needs of everyone involved.
How to Implement: Set aside time to have an open conversation where everyone can share their viewpoints. Make it clear that the goal is mutual understanding and not winning an argument. Ensure that the environment feels safe and secure for all members present. If you approach it as a team, you’re more likely to find a solution that lasts.
- Mediation
Sometimes, conflicts get to a point where a third-party mediator is necessary. A mediator can help facilitate a productive discussion, ensuring each person’s voice is heard without letting emotions take over.
How to Implement: Reach out to someone who can serve as an impartial listener. Often these could be a manager or HR professional. Explain the situation calmly and ask for their help in mediating the conversation. This can be especially useful if emotions have started to cloud judgment.
- Compromise
Compromise is about finding a middle ground. Both sides give a little to meet somewhere in the middle. It’s not always the ideal solution but can be helpful when time is of the essence, or the stakes aren’t too high.
How to Implement: After each side has expressed their needs, look for ways to adjust expectations so that each person gets part of what they’re seeking.
- Avoidance
Sometimes, the best course of action is simply to let things go, especially if the conflict is minor or if it will naturally resolve with time. Avoidance shouldn’t be your go-to strategy, but it can work in cases where the issue isn’t worth escalating.
How to Implement: Step back and ask yourself if the issue is worth pursuing. If it’s something small that won’t impact work or team morale, consider moving on without addressing it directly.
- Accommodation
In some cases, maintaining a good working relationship is more valuable than “winning.” If the issue is minor, accommodating the other person can create goodwill and demonstrate flexibility.
How to Implement: When accommodating, make sure it’s a conscious choice and not simply giving in to avoid conflict. Use this approach when preserving harmony is more important than the outcome of the conflict.
Practical Tools for Managing Conflict
Beyond general strategies, here are some actionable tools you can use to approach conflict management in a structured way:
- Active Listening Techniques
Active listening means genuinely focusing on what the other person is saying without planning your response as they speak. It’s an effective way to ensure both parties feel heard.
How to Implement:
- Paraphrase: Repeat what the other person has said in your own words to show you’re listening and clarify any misunderstandings.
- Acknowledge Feelings: Recognize the other person’s emotions by validating their perspective, e.g., “I understand this has been frustrating.”
- Open Body Language: Simple non-verbal cues like nodding and maintaining eye contact show that you’re engaged.
- The 5 Whys Technique
Asking “Why?” multiple times can help you dig deeper into the underlying cause of a conflict. Instead of staying at the surface level, this tool encourages you to examine the reasons behind a situation.
How to Implement: Define the issue, then ask “Why?” repeatedly (typically five times) until you reach the root cause. This exercise works well when a conflict seems repetitive or particularly frustrating. Do not stop until the real root cause behind a conflict surfaces.
- Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Nonviolent Communication, developed by Marshall Rosenberg, emphasizes clear and empathetic dialogue. The four main steps of NVC are: observation, feelings, needs, and requests.
How to Implement:
- Observation: Describe the situation without judgment or evaluation (e.g., “I noticed that deadlines have been challenging to meet lately”).
- Feeling: Share your feelings in a straightforward way (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when deadlines are missed”).
- Need: Identify your underlying need (e.g., “I need consistency in timelines to manage my workload effectively”).
- Request: Make a clear request (e.g., “Could we explore ways to stay on schedule?”)
- The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
The TKI framework identifies five primary ways people respond to conflict: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding, and Accommodating. Knowing your conflict style can help you understand your reactions and adjust your approach as needed.
How to Implement: Reflect on your natural approach to conflict and consider whether an alternative response might be more effective in the situation. For example, if you often avoid conflict, think about trying a more collaborative approach.
Quick Takeaways for Immediate Implementation
Let’s wrap up with some actionable steps you can apply right now to foster better conflict management in your workplace:
- Establish a Conflict Resolution Protocol
Have a straightforward process for managing conflicts, with guidelines on who to contact and when to involve a third party. - Encourage Open Communication
Create a work culture where team members feel comfortable expressing concerns. Regular check-ins or feedback sessions can help resolve conflicts before they escalate. Do not wait for pre-established check-in guidelines (bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly, etc.) to bring a conflict to attention. - Promote Empathy
Empathy is a powerful tool in any conflict. Encourage team members to understand each other’s perspectives through team-building exercises or simply with leading by example. Informal weekly team meetings or offsite activities are a great environment to get to know each other deeply. - Recognize and Reward Constructive Conflict Resolution
Celebrate team members who manage conflicts in a positive way. This creates a culture where conflict management is seen as a strength, not a challenge.
Lean on Consistency
Make conflict resolution part of your regular routine. Just like any other skill, it takes practice. Approach each conflict with an open mind and willingness to learn.
Effective conflict management isn’t about eliminating disagreements altogether; it’s about handling them in a way that fosters growth and understanding. By using strategies like active listening, Nonviolent Communication, and the Thomas-Kilmann model, you can transform conflict into an opportunity for positive change in your workplace. With a little practice, you’ll be able to turn any disagreement into a chance for collaboration and innovation.
Statements of fact and opinions expressed herein are those of the individual authors and are not necessarily those of the Society of Actuaries, the editors, or the respective authors’ employers.
Harsh Mota, FSA, is an actuary turned Health Coach helping clients with a host of health and wellbeing goals. He can be reached at mota.k.harsh@gmail.com, LinkedIn or http://www.harshtransformsyou.com.
Endnote
[1] Andra Picincu, “The Effects of a Heavy Workload on Employees.” Bizfluent, April 29, 2019, https://bizfluent.com/info-8178431-effects-heavy-workload-employees.html.